The new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is just a few weeks away and just in time the theme song has been released, an EDC/Dubstep/Hip Hop collaboration between Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, and Ty Dolla $ign and featuring Kill The Noise and Madsonik titled Shell Shocked.

This is just another WTF to come out of this movie.

Listen to the new song here.

And while you’re at it listen to it in the new trailer here.

Try to watch the trailer to the end. You’ll see the Turtles dancing in an elevator for some reason. Or if you don’t have the attention span to watch the video just watch this gif I got from Uproxx.


And in case you’re staring at it thinking “WTF” no you’re not hallucinating things, Leonardo is freakin’ twerking, also it looks like Donatello is jacking off his bo staff.


So somebody out there wanted to spare some people the trouble of having to sit through the entirety of the first 3 Transformers movies and edited together a massive supercut of robotic fight scenes. Now the supercut does not show the fight scenes in chronological order and I’m pretty sure it’s missing a few things but hey it does cut down Michael Bay’s 7 and 1/2 hour ’80s pop culture snuff films down into 1 handy dandy 20-minute package. Hopefully this same person will do the same thing to Age of Extinction and save us from all that poor dialog many of us had to sit through.

The 2nd trailer for Michael Bay’s new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie was released yesterday.  Aside from seeing more of Michaelangelo’s honked up Shrek nose, we see a full view of all four turtles as well as teased with a shot of Shredder in the shadows.

After seeing this all I can ask is what the hell did Michael Bay do to Donatello? Wanna know what I’m talking about?  Click play below.

Sorry I haven’t been updating lately I’ve been really sick lately. I promise I’ll come up with some good stuff in the coming days. Until then enjoy this 20 minute stretch of a roided up Rick and Summer from Rick and Morty kicking the shit out of random assholes set to DMX’s “X Gon’ Give It To Ya”

Somewhere in the world some individual left a dog in their car while they went off to do errands.

Now this story may sound like it’s going to be sad but in reality it’s funny because while waiting in the car the dog gets bored waiting and starts honking the horn.  Now you may think the dog is just nudging the horn with its face but no, the dog sits on its butt in the driver’s seat and uses its paw to hit the horn.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a video for it, showing that there is a dog out there that knows how to use a car horn and by default is automatically smarter than half the people on the road today.

Unfortunately the video is filmed vertically which mean while this video gives you faith in the animal kingdom it does takes some points away from faith in humanity.

So the new trailer for Transformers: Age of Extinction trailer just came out the other day.

Based on the trailer I’m guessing the plot is following Dark of the Moon all Transformers including the Autobots are either in exile and the government is hunting them down. Marky Mark, who apparently owns salvage yard buys a rusted out old semi truck which turns out to be a deactivated Optimus Prime. The government finds out about it and explosions happen.

From what I’ve seen in the trailer and heard on the internet it looks like Bumblebee is returning as well, this time as a different Camaro with a different paint scheme. Also the Transformer with the nose/dick/gun thing on its face is supposed Galvatron or at least that’s the theory.  It’s already confirmed that Grimlock will be in it since the Superbowl trailer ended with Optimus riding him like a horse, also this trailer ends with Optimus delivering an epic pimp slap to him. From what wikipedia says that two-headed dragon thing is supposed to be the Dinobot, Swoop or some equivalent and not the Terrorcon leader, Hun-Garr like I thought he was.

All in all I think I’ll go see it. I liked Transformers as a kid and I am easily entertained with explosions. However I am a little annoyed that Michael Bay is choosing to throw continuity out the window and just further piss on the cartoon’s established mythos. I mean Optimus Prime is a different model truck now, Bumblee looks like he reformatted himself back into an older model Camaro, and whatever happened to Sideswipe and all the Wreckers and all the other surviving Autobots. I’m not complaining that he didn’t bring back the Jar Jar Bink Chevy twins, but still he keeps bringing in new Transformers and tossing out old ones. You think it would be smart to just keep adding Transformers so he can expand the toyline more. Another thing that pisses me off is Swoop is supposed fucking pteradactyl not a two-headed dragon. Two-headed fucking dragons aren’t dinosaurs!

Anyway I had an idea for a movie which would have been really close to the old ’80s cartoon movie plot and mythos and would have introduced Unicron, Metroplex, Trypticon and a bunch of other old-school Transformers that could have been turned into toys. Maybe I’ll post the premise tomorrow. Until then enjoy the new trailer.

This post probably would have been relevant last month during the Olympics when we were so sure the US Women’s Olympic hockey team was going to take home the gold, but oh well better late than never.

Anyway while surfing I heard about this film gem from the ’90s starring  a still riding high on his Timecop fame, Jean Claude Van Damme, titled Sudden Death.  In this movie, Powers Boothe AKA Captain Andrews from Red Dawn (the ’80s 1 with Swayze and Charlie Sheen not the 1 with Thor and Drake but not Josh, that 1 was played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is this terrorist who during game 7 of the Stanley Cup takes the Vice President and several VIPs hostage while at the same time has the arena wired with explosives set to explode when the game ends. JCVD plays firefighter and protagonist with internal emotional conflicts, Darren McCord who finds out about Captain Andrews’s evil plot and must roundhouse kick the Vice President and his daughter to safety while at the same time send the game into overtime in order to keep the explosives from going off and buy himself more time to save his daughter.

Like I said it’s pretty much Die Hard on ice. It was made right after Timecop so if you liked that you might like this. I mean there is a part where JCVD dressed as a goalie kicks a dude in the throat while wearing a skate so that might be either really cool or really gruesome to watch.

If you need more reason to go out and watch it here’s the trailer for it.


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